honest to blog

Human idiosyncrasies…right…what’s a world without it? Those are the things that simply give you the excuse to babble bull about others…and yourself. But hey, we all need something to laugh about, don’t we? Below are some of the moronic actions people do that I’ve observed lately.

• Bus 630. Around noon. Windy. That’s when I saw fellow passengers; two couples sitting facing each other started conversing like it was nobody’s business. Yes, they were loud. Yes, they were real loud. And no, that’s not why I came to write about them. Because next, maybe feeling like ear-splitting conversations didn’t do enough to magnify their presence in the bus, they started tossing a condom around. I wasn’t sure whether it was new or used (and not that I wanted to know) but I observed that it was pink in colour (ok, if I could figure out that it was a condom, I would have figured out the colour too, right?). On top of that, a guy just felt the need to blurt out, “Snake skin, snake skiiiinnnnn!!!”…in a certain accent.

• Before this, I’d never for once in my life felt the urge to throw raw eggs at other people. After that, I discovered that such urge could actually come in an almost frighteningly natural way. Well, I was studying for the exam that night when the next-door-neighbour decided to have one heck of a vociferous party. Armed with electrical instruments (honestly, they had guitar, keyboard and bass marching on) and their respective amplifiers, the considerate neighbours forum started singing…and I started questioning the actual meaning of civilisation. They started around 8 and not a single quiet moment till 12. Oh, and they sang songs like “Kupu-kupu Malam”, “Burung Kakaktua” and “Jujurlah Padaku” in several dangdut arrangements. I was distressed, miserable and dangerously hanging at the brink of sanity. It was exam season for goodness sake!

• Ok, enough about others. One once said that it is not good pointing out at some elephants hanging out on the horizon while ignoring a block of wood that is stuck in your friggin’ eye…or something along that line. Anyhoo, it just seems that I have this growing tendency of breaking things or scratching myself in my sleep. No, I don’t actually break things while I’m asleep…it’s just…how to put this…I have a record of breaking two dining paraphernalia (that I’m aware of); a glass and a bowl. I broke the glass by accidentally knocking it with a milk plastic bottle. I broke a bowl by dropping it halfway through drying it off with a cloth. Oh, and recently, I seem to wake up every day discovering new scratches on my skin and this certain feeling like someone has just driven a steel bolt into my back. I don’t know, maybe I sleepwalk into having an egg-throwing sessions with the next door neighbours or something.