honest to blog

Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm, I will slice
I will dazzle them with my wit

Tonight make me unstoppable
And I will charm, I will slice
I will dazzle, I will outshine them all

- bloc party

As far as I could remember, I have never been an eloquent speaker (and I so know running into a table when I was four must have had some effects somehow). I am way more inclined towards writing than voicing out alphabets. So in the course of life itself, I’ve often fallen victims into social scenes where expressing one self does not come as naturally. Thus, the mind has created some bent lexicon as a form of, in a professional term, defense mechanism.

Word: Soup

Meaning: Stupid, idiot, @!#%$^&*, *%@!^%#&%, *^$&^&!

Origin: Some New Year resolution for profanities to be reduced

Examples of use:

-      “Bloody soup!!!”

-      “Son of a soup…”

-      “Hey Nel, who’s that soup wearing all purple and black in a soupin’ hot day like this?” “You soup! That’s Agnes!” “…Anjes?” “Arrghhh, soup-brain!”

Word: Capital

Meaning: Totally awesome, cool, great

Origin: Anna Karenin novel, research also shows word to be often used in older novels

Examples of use:

-      “Hey May, I’m bored, let’s go count coloured paperclips.” “That’s capital! Come on!”

Word: Secure

Meaning: An adjective describing some clothing that presents the least probability for wardrobe malfunctions

Origin: Ambiguous recall about a dress/top a friend tried on

Examples of use:

-      “What do you think?” “I don’t think it’s secure” *points to some areas around the neck*

Word: Sassy-Saccharin

Meaning: An attractive chick with all the right cuts and moves

Origin: Seeing an attractive chick with all the right cuts and moves

Examples of use:

-      “…*stares inappropriately* she so sassy-saccharin”

Word/s: So method

Meaning: A praise-meaning comment on something praisable

Origin: The thin air

Examples of use:

-  “Great job, you’re so method.”

Word/s: Here goes tomatoes

Meaning: A replacement for the term “here we go again…” Usually spoken in a sluggish context

Origin: It rhymes, need I say more?

Examples of use:

-      “Guys, back in the days, in my days, blah blah blah…” *mutters under the breath* “Oh, here goes tomatoes…”

-      “I know this, I know that, we have to do this, do that…” *mutters under the breath* “Oh, here goes tomatoes…Oh, there is a bird outside…Ohhhh, there are two!”

Word/s: Flo (read: flow)

Meaning: An adjective for smooth-talking

Origin: Freudian slip

Examples of use:

-      “So? How did it go?” “Oh my God! He’s so flo!”

Word/s: Get the zombies moshing

Meaning: Wake one up, switch one on, turn thing out, crank it loud

Origin: Everyone has their own quirks so…

Examples of use:

-      “Yo! Whaddya up to?” “Buying coffee, man. Gotta get the zombies moshing.”

-      “What’s with the outfit?” “I say what about getting them zombies moshing?”

there seems to be an inverse correlation between the environment’s temperature and my brain in general; the higher the celsius, the lower the smartness.

today, my shiny face and i braved the world without the day’s ultimate fuel, my breakfast. no biggies to some, but for a girl who’s grown up brainwashed into the importance of morning food intake, it’s another matter. psychologically i’ve been conditioned to feed on nutrition before setting off for the day. however, i had no time today. i’d rather do my hair.

monday’s schedule doesn’t give much of an in-between breaks. so i had to go to the bookshop to grab something to eat. yes, i wrote that right. a bookshop. that space of latent demand fulfilment. i also continued my recent foray into spending my parents’ hard-earned money on the goodness of the coolness of pokka’s green tea like there’s no tomorrow. i’m not sure which one i actually love more, the drinks or the refrigerator that houses them. had a consultation. had a tutorial. on an air conditioned-less room. just one immobile fan. i spent one and a half hour counting the lines on my notebook. the day progressed as my visage luminousity increased. next, my shiny face and i got a better gig at a freezing lecture hall. things got better when i finally returned home to a cold shower.

so here i am; me, myself, and my aerodynamic hair. not bad for a day spent running on a piece of chocolate bar.    

Kindly excuse me if the last few entries sort of impersonate that of a professional morbid miserablist. It’s around the anniversary of my late pet chick, “Kunyit”. Times like these always remind me of how my turtles used to elope, and how my hamsters liked to act like some kind of tortured souls. But better not dwell too long in misery now…

Anyway, was out procuring some roasted beans in between classes today when I started playing this mind game where I watch people walk by and take a stab at how long they have been in Uni (yes, I’m a boring person, I know…). So, let’s see, walk in groups, discuss obvious questions, discuss a lot; newbies. Next, walk in groups, discuss obvious questions, discuss a lot; second-years. Next, walk in groups, discuss obvious questions, discuss a lot; third-years.   

Heh, I suck. Back to counting coloured paperclips then.

I’m pretty familiar with the workings around campus. Been here for more than two years and pretty much know how to navigate my way around the turf. Ah, the perks of seniority. Hmm…wait. Uh-oh. The impending adulthood and responsibilities. The looming jungle that is the workplace and stuff. The imminent. The unknown. Yup, just when I’m starting to embrace the familiar life of a Uni student. Curses, I shall become a junior again.

I’m getting totally legal in a few months. Passing that government-enforced line where acting like an adult will actually come with the privileges of being one. Funny how when you were younger, the grown-ups would always be like, “Please act like an adult, and I will respect you like an adult.” If you think about it, it’s either they 1.) Are so full of themselves they think their respect is so important to us young kids, or 2.) Naively believe that it totally makes sense to act like adults without being given the rights of those above minors. Yea, if the grown-ups expect adult-like behaviours from the juveniles, pass on the booze and rated-movies already. Oops…kidding! But seriously, some people should really drop the act-like-an-adult-and-I-will-respect-you-like-an-adult line because 1.) It’s irritating and 2.) It’s inappropriate given the circumstantial context.

So say, maybe I should start having my pre-legal monster’s ball now. Live up my youth. Do pointless things. Play it hard. Before I get respected like an adult. Just like them of the wise say,

SpongeBob      : Are you ready to go crazy???

Patrick             : I’m hearing voices already!!!

Or something like that…

Smeared black ink
Your palms are sweaty
And I’m barely listening
To last demands
I’m staring at the asphalt wondering
What’s buried underneath where I am

I’ll wear my badge
A vinyl sticker with big block letters
Adherent to my chest
That tells your new friends
I am a visitor here; I am not permanent
And the only thing keeping me dry is where I am

You seem so out of context
In this gaudy apartment complex
A stranger with your door key
Explaining that I am just visiting
And I am finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving …

- The Postal Service

"there are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception."

- j.morrison by a.huxley by w.blake

something so strong it can build nations. or even tear them down. what is truth really? what defines right and wrong? what makes one thing evil and another good? for one thing is a truth to some, and a bunch of trash to others. what’s truth? is it your heart? or your conscience? but those are just idle consideration beside the point. for on this side of idolatry, perception is the one we bend our knees for. why do you think people take out insurance on alien attacks? why do you think abortion is an issue? why do you think kingdoms come upon others and run things dry? because there are always more than one side to the story, i guess. people see things differently. to the point that it’s enough a cause to take action. say, maybe it’s the "invisible hand" everyone has been talking about. truth is not truth, unless your perception is aligned with them. it’s only running your practical side of life.

perception. something so strong it can build nations. or even tear them down.

"The man who comes back through the Door in the Wall will never be quite the same as the man who went out. He will be wiser but less sure, happier but less self-satisfied, humbler in acknowledging his ignorance yet better equipped to understand the relationship of words to things, of systematic reasoning to the unfathomable mystery which it tries, forever vainly, to comprehend."

- A.Huxley 

cleaning up my hp inbox and thought i’d share some of the messages i find interesting:

- are u lying on park bench somewhere in a pool of ur own vomit?

- naughtyyy…

- as u wish mi lady.

- ok i’m awake. abort 2nd call.

- why do the pixies bring their surfboards to the kitchen? because there is microwave.

- z.. gini lho, kan pixies itu kecil. nah kan micro itu maksudnya kecil ato rendah lah. mereka bw surfboard nya ke dapur karna ada microwave (gelombang kecil) nangkep tak?

- ok. see ya,tentacles.

- ibuuu l dimana? jadi kerini ga?

- dammit woman,answer the phone!

- are u asking me out on a date? hahaha

- hahahahaha.. u’re one freaky l’agneau!

- sheepy! u coming later right? right?? *knife in hand*

- hahaha. dasar. fat sheep. maunya coklat

now virtual letters citizens erased.