honest to blog

so here we are at that time of the year again…

my pretty little head is emitting some ringing sound that is annoying the equilibirium system within my ears. maybe it’s the pillow i’m sleeping on, or simply the lacking amount of snoozefest if at all. either way, some clocks that have been taking reside at the base of my spine is tapping my eyelids open and they are tapping hard. the bright light seeping uninvitingly through my window blinds are not helping much either. but that’s fine. uhmmm … ok, i’m awake. now what?

bone’s calling. it’s been a while since the last time i showered her with my undivided attention and sincere affection. funny thing really. i feel guilty. after all the times she’s been used and abused for my own selfish amusement; as a tool of escape from boredom, or frustrating therapeutic sessions, she deserves better than just the frequent graveyard situations i’ve been leaving her with. after all, we went through a lot together.

anyway, it’s that time of the year again. around this time last year, i was a few thousands feet above the ground, leaving las vegas and on my awesome way back to san fransisco. this year, i’m finding myself having to work till an hour before countdown, and with some plans to party up a (hopefully) pg-rated storm thereafter. despite all the less-than-pretty things that happened in my life so far, i figured that to count my blessings is the only way to go. this is a notorious timeline in the world really. right when i’m ready to go out and jump into its water. who knows what 2009 may bring?

there are times when i feel that to dream is futile. and reality is a very cunningly insistent son of a gun. but really, i shouldn’t waste what’s this great thing that’s been given simply. lest youth waste me away. for this i’ll try to promise myself; to take and inhale happiness in the little things and every time i’m given the chance to meet one. even if it’s not served up on a silver platter with cherry lemons on top. i’ll try not to be wary of the bad guys that i’d always suspected is lurking around the corner whenever those butterflies make their way into my tummy.

i’ll absorb what life will let me have. i’ll treasure moments and seconds, every detail. i’ll appreciate this. i’ll keep challenging myself; be it by looking at things from different perspectives or anything adding to the awesomisation of my character. i’ll learn more about art in movies and music, and not simply settle for anything that’s easy or even logical. maybe i’ll learn to wear my heart on my sleeve. i’ll let me cry, and pick myself up again afterwards. i’ll laugh, i’ll be silly, i’ll listen to more stories strangers will serenade me with. i’ll hope, i’ll be cheesy, i’ll be naive. and i’ll clean up my room if i plan to. once in a while, i’ll even try out that new corner bistro or alley-way bar i’ve just discovered. i’ll try, and try with an open mind and cloudy efforts. i’ll be good. i’ll be bad. i’ll live. and i’ll keep writing about it.

so bone, it’s good to have you buddy. and all things awesome require a form of exit only so deserving. with fascination, tears and all things colourful paper-y. with a bang.

BANG!